to my old website. For your reading pleasure and as an archive, I have decided to keep it online. But if you want to see my new website, then please feel free to visit it here:

Bullion Grey

Note to a Friend

Hello my friend,
I as well know a little about chronic depression, for almost
my entire life. While it is true that depression seems pain
without cause, it is also a gift. I know at this point you may
not see any reason to read on, my hope is that you do.

Depression as well as all kinds of suffering is the gift that no
one wants. (checkout book of the same title:by Dr. Paul Brand)
If you can stay with this part of your existence and observe
carefully you will start to see the why behind the what.
Depression has burdened me with much, but as I have
grown, I can see where it has caused my growth as well.
It has made me aware of the sensitive nature of all of us.

It has brought about compassionate acts as I recognized
it in others.  It has provided me with a path to the inner life
to become as some would say present.

It has caused for my pen to bring about what some have
said inspiring works of art, to bless all who care to pay
attention. Depression has allowed for a deeper pool of
experience...thats why I often say: "Welcome to the
deep end"!  Depression allowed me a way to cry out
many lost and forgotten cries that I didn't even
know existed.

"We are not ourselves when nature, being oppressed,
commands the mind to suffer with the body."

In study of depression I found many different types exist.
Strange I know, but depression is a general word used
commonly to describe often distant ways it holds to us
who suffer from it. Like the body, the brain has many
different ways to experience mental discord.

Some of the places is from some mental deficiency of nutrients.
Other depression can actually be the result of our brain
architecture being altered, alerting us to this deviation of
structure. Still other depression can be a type of sense
that we need to change our environment, or words w often
use, or people with whom we share close proximity with.
 With this type the cure is often just to change our thinking,
or abode. As noted in your post I see this last one may
have great significance for you.

Some depression is the result of days gone by that we injured
our brain and now have that harvest of its pain. There are times
 when depression is a signal that we have not forgiven ourselves
and therefore are unable to forgive others. This is a place of slow
or even no progress UNTIL we learn about forgiveness and
employ our understandings of it.  Sometimes we need depression
 to crack open our own harden heart so that we can begin the next
part of our journey to understanding - that final Understanding
we call God.

"Suffering, a state of mind, involves the entire person."
                                                                     --- Dr.Paul Brand

The father of modern brain science said:
"The brain is full of what might be called the mysterious
butterflies of the soul, the beating of whose wings may
some day -- who knows? -- clairify the secret of mental life."

                                                          --- Santiago Ramon y Cajal

"Illness is the doctor we pay most heed: to kindness,
to knowledge we make promises only; pain we obey."

                                                                    --- Marcel Proust

Always remember that you are a visitor, guest to this domain.
As such every event, circumstance, feeling, situation and
even sickness serves you & the world.

Find that service, significance, meaning - and you find the
great treasure that Divine has imparted to you and this world.
Only you can impart this wisdom, treasure to others.
This post you ventured was part of that, I am sure. Know
that we are here fulfilling our Sacred Contracts as
Caroline Myss has said, and that you are exactly at the
right place, and time, right now.

Invest this moment in the words, ideas you share with
yourself and others. Inside of you, my friend, exists a
birthing angel, one who brings great healing and protection.
Open your heart and watch it unfold into the Divinity that is
your Scared Contract.

Say unto your heart: Peace! Be still......
with care,
Bullion Grey

"This young spirit's ability to bring the power of healing
to bear on her own psyche is so awesome, that it is
astounding....her trust is that any wound
that comes to her can be healed,
a trust that new follows old."
                                      ---- P.Estes

Just on the other side of where you are is waiting for your
arrival a mystical spiritual alchemy!  Keep going!
You are almost there.

"Fulfilling your highest potential actually means
acting on your deepest truth each moment of your life.

                                                                                  ---- C. Myss