I have analyzed myself down to the last smallest detail and concluded I don’t really exist.

That’s a relief!
I thought if I did actually exist then it would be different.

But alas the final research is in, and just as I suspected….I don’t exist.

Now I can go about my days and be nonexistent. I go places without being noticed - as nonexistent people are not noticed, cause they don’t exist.

I don’t need anything that existing people need; books, food, a life. I shall write a book on not existing. The trials and foibles of such a non-entity.
Isn’t it grand?