Welcome,
to my old website. For your reading pleasure and as an archive, I have decided to keep it online. But if you want to see my new website, then please feel free to visit it here:

Bullion Grey
Imaginateur


Inner-Exploration....
I realized I was the sum of all that I thought, felt, heard from others, was my derived self. It made me see my limits as the human being I am experiencing.

It was a revelation that I had become what my "world" had made me think, as consciousness of another human, and just that. Such a revelation I know it isn't for everyone, but for my inner-explorations it was a natural conclusion to emerge. To explore the inner-self is to quest in the outer-world, as I thought one day. The inner-self as vast as it is, has certain
self perscribed limits that most never question, never wonder -
why this inner-self has stopped here at this line?

It is like when we reach what we refer to as our "conclusion" of a thing or issue. A conclusion is not really and conclusion but where we stopped thinking about a thing or issue. We can never reach and conclusion about anything. It is like trying to learn all there is to know about any subject - its impossible. We can never know all there is to know about anything, as knowledge is ever expanding, expodentially growing.

So here I was, a self defined, other defined entity. With unexplored demensions and depths, unknown answers without questions to even ask, so as to get those unanswered questions. It was a landmark thought when I arrived here. It seemed to me that mystery of who we are as human beings was being with held from us, as if we were subjects to a massive, greater power that seldom revealed It's Self except through creative expressions, like plants, animals, people.

Now it has been an unending journey to the limits of what I can really know about myself. Further it has been surprising at each limitation of consciousness I encounter inside, that the distant horizon seemed even farther away from me. I have on occassion attempted to venture past the known to the unknown inside, and have always come back with more mystery than answer.

A few things I have brought back:
= a sense I am not a single existence, but a multitude of perhaps One.
= a vision that there is more to explore.
= Imagination and realization of the massive faculty it really is.
= a longing to pursue more, digging, a spiritual feeling, the further I get. 
= dozens of notes, and mind-storms as a result of all mentioned above.

It has been clear to me now, that it is an illusion that my derived self is a package of mine and other's contributions. They still do make themselves known, but I now know it, I, we, go far deeper as if an inner Space, Galactic limitless that doesn't float within, but that we float within. For any who attempt this inner-self quest I will congradulate now. We are unknown
partners that will perhaps one day arrive at the same place and know each other as if we have always been friends.

Bullion Grey
imaginateur